texting

To Know Me is to Love Me…Would You Give Me a Chance?

Posted on by Kelly aka LadyOTrout

We are all so different.  Some folks are visual (ah… that would be me), some are more analytical and if a person is one or the other than you can bet each side loves each one sometimes but is disgusted with the other most of the time.

Internet romances have been the rage but it wasn’t long ago that most people thought they were for losers, psychos or fortune hunters.  Maybe internet dating is a good thing, people talk like old friends and learn about each other without the stress of the “first date.”  I am not dumping on that at all. But we live in a world now where technology connects us as well as disconnects us.

Example #1:  Significant other finds their “beloved’s” cell phone, check through the texts and “POW!”  There are fireworks and they aren’t the good kind either. People like Tiger Woods and Brett Favre know this fate only too well and even better this is all used in lawsuits.  And in both cases, it wasn’t just the heartache that was inevitable,  it was the wallet break that went along with it.

Example #2: I saw a nice couple in a coffee shop the other day.  They held hands as they walked in and in fact one of them held the door for me and greeted me with a smile.  Left me feeling pretty good.

Every one ordered and I sat down across from them.  And there they were, one talking and one staring at his cell phone.  Now if this guy had included her in what he was reading and punching onto the phone, then fine.  But he was very distracted and she went on about a situation she was dealing with.  He had his eyes down and kept clicking away.  Finally looking up he said, “Oh sorry babe, I was texting.”  (This is not a gender thing, this is a manners thing.)

Since this smartphone held power over a human to human interaction, you have to wonder, if it wasn’t an emergency, why did this happen? Is it so hard to put down the phone, flip it upside down and look each other in the eye and talk?  When did we stop being human?  It wasn’t a point in time, it has been an evolution.

I have taken to leaving my phone in my car on customer appointments.  What’s worse than texting during a face to face encounter?  They can see they aren’t as important as whoever is in your phone. AND you are doing this in PERSON.

In 20 years, well maybe 10 – where do you think this will lead us?

Will Twitter or Facebook cause World War III?

Posted on by Kelly aka LadyOTrout

It is amusing to hear some members of the main stream media mention that Twitter could be blamed for so much of the unrest in the Middle East.  These recent outbreaks of violence, demonstrations and the like have been happening in the Middle East for thousands of years – yes there was life before Twitter.  People demonstrate because they are passionate about something.  Twitter and other social media platforms were used to facilitate the assembly, no doubt. Texting also helped.

Just like when you want to meet your friends or kids somewhere you probably text them.  Many folks have cell phones without data plans and still can get text messages.

The point here is that you communicate, you find a way.  Many parents I know ONLY started texting because that was how they could reach their kids.  I have one friend who refuses to carry his cell phone most of the time because he wants to TALK to his kids, not get a random text from one of them asking for money!  He wants to connect to hear their voices as opposed a text that he feels is impersonal.

Yes. Texting allows you to be in one place and communicate with many others. But while you do that what is that person across the table looking at you thinking? How about, “I guess there are others more important than me…”

It is so common to see people in appointments and meetings looking down at their cell phones, disconnecting with where they are to wonder what maybe better or more important, fun, etc.  Feel insignificant yet?

And lots of people, your “friends”  know what is going on in your life because they cruise your Facebook page and you never even know it.  Have you wondered where face to face relationships will be in 10 years?

All this leads to a communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, hurt feelings all because we are not taking the time to ask for clarification of a compressed text message or those dreaded “tweets.  It all is kind of scary to me.  I am taking a page out of one of my friends book and leaving my cell phone in my bag when I am with a customer – whether I am in a meeting with them or at lunch with them.  He always makes me feel like I am on his “Important List” and I have noticed.

What will you do to make people feel like they are on  your “Important List?”

 

 

The Facebook “Blow-Off”

Posted on by Kelly aka LadyOTrout

Facebook has made my life simpler in some ways and complicated at the same time – during the day I can love it and hate it several times depending what is going on.  Then I guess it is not Facebook’s fault, Facebook allows me to see the good and bad in people in more of a constant barrage of information, once again it is the people not the messenger (Facebook) right?

Facebook makes it easy to feel bad that you cannot donate to every cause that people support.  Facebook makes it easy for people to invite people they hardly know to events that they would never invite them to in person, because hey, they like you, but not that much.  Facebook allows people that you “friended” in a weak moment to know what you are doing without becoming involved in your life, giving you support or feedback.  Facebook allows you to invite people (not randomly chosen), to an event many tell you they are coming and they cannot wait – then don’t show.  No call, no email note, nothing to say, “I know I RSVP’ed and you made extra reservations/food, but I cannot make it.”

So what does this tell us?  This isn’t Facebook’s fault.  We have all heard from our parents and perhaps some of us have even said it ourselves, everyday our society seems to be getting just a little more disconnected to the HUMAN side of things.  People give you the finger after they cut you off when you are driving, athletes engage in all out brawls on the fields, tracks and courts, parents post videos on YouTube of kids fighting while they cheer the fighters on.

What is this world coming to?

The other day a friend of mine and I were talking about “Random Acts of Kindness” and how good they make you feel when you do them.  She reminds her kids daily to do ONE nice thing for someone else – no matter how small it may be.  And of course we may say, “Isn’t that sad, to have to be reminded?”  But I say, “Hallelujah!  Parenting is back!”  Don’t ever take for granted what your kids may or may not know, especially when it comes to manners and it also reminds YOU of the importance of common courtesy.

I have another friend that always says, “Thank You.” Even when you aren’t sure it was required, but it is that reminder to me that I need to say it more often if I am questioning if a “Thank You,”  was necessary.  He even says it when he “Blackberry Messages” me.  And now I am making sure I do it too – it makes me feel better seeing it on the screen whether I am getting it or sending it.

Chris Brogan has been saying “Be Human” for a long time and it all sounded good to me, but I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant, the more I become involved and use Social Media tools and the more I see people I know using these tools,  I can really appreciate what “Being Human” means.

So think about doing your part today to say or do something kind for someone. And remind a young person in your life. The more chat rooms, comments on blogs, texting and “facebooking” we do, the less connected we become.  But we still ARE human and we all need to remember that.

What will you do today?

Too Dangerous…

Posted on by Kelly aka LadyOTrout

My niece just got a cell phone.  She is 10 years old.  I have no children, so I am not qualified to comment on whether this is a good idea or not.  When she was a “wee one” of about 3, I would call my brother and he would ask her if she wanted to talk to “Aunt Kelly” she would say, “Too Dangerous.” We thought that was funny.  We thought that she had a sense of humor. Even my brother and sister-in-law thought it was funny.

Well little did I know that because she lived so far away, she didn’t remember me, so I was a STRANGER in her world.  So the whole “STRANGER DANGER” thing took on a whole new meaning. We see them and talk to them often, so I am no longer a stranger to her and we spend summer vacation time together.

For the past few years, she would confiscate her mom or dad’s cell phone and shoot me off a photo or a text message and I would be thinking, “What are they talking about?”  Then I would find out it was my niece and not them.  She is quite versed in using a cell phone – she can text better than they can!

Last Saturday, I got a text message from an unknown number, but from the area code that my brother lives in.  My first text, “Hi Auntie Kelly.”  It is my niece (obviously) she has gotten her first cell phone. Within the next 2 days I must have gotten 10 text messages from her.  Then I thought “Whoops I hope my brother’s package includes unlimited texting.”  (Here’s something that will freak you out – an $18,000/month cell phone bill!)

When you get a cell phone for your kids, it is meant to be a “tool” so you can stay connected, for them it is often considered a “toy.”  Last week,  I posted on our Sephone Blog this article about Facebook Places in relation to “Privacy Settings” .  Then when I started this post, I found this one from safekids.org (which is really a great site for all kinds of things.) In particular, this is about your kids telling too much information or their friends telling too much information on where they are, whom they are with, and at what time.  That may be helpful to you as a parent, but it is also helpful to bullies or predators.  Unfortunately, that is the world we are living in.

Our cell phone people (Central Maine Wireless) are the best.  They actually take the time and really help us make the phones work for what we need them for and everybody is different.  So take the time and make sure you don’t get some whopping bill because your kids usage of the phone may not be the same as yours or maybe things you cannot even imagine are happening BECAUSE of that cell phone. Here is a link that Paul shared with me about features you can apply to the phones you can buy for your kids.

Here is an old post (but a great one) to review when you buy that cell phone or even to use as a learning tool for those that have one all ready.  And have a safe and happy Fall 2010!

Your cell phone is a link to safety AND convenience

Posted on by Kelly aka LadyOTrout

We all know people that have cell phones and they only have them “in case of emergency.”  Usually, this emergency they are talking about involves them.  They run out of gas, they break down on the side of the road, they use the phone to get help.  I know for me it can be frustrating because if YOU need their help, they don’t have their phones on, so from my point of view they may as well not have one!  But that is a another topic for another day…

But when I woke up to WABI, TV5 and Todd Simcox, he was telling us that we need to “keep an eye to the sky” for thunderstorms breaking out and the potential for some of them being severe.  That made me think about how we get our information and how my cell phone is KEY in me getting it.  So is your cell phone working for you to keep you safe?Blackberry_Curve_8330

You may take your kids to Little League or soccer practice, maybe you are at the beach or the golf course, the one thing that remains constant – your cell phone is with you, right?  Well start thinking about your phone as more than a phone.  You can sign up for weather alerts to go to your phone, keeping you in the loop with the latest warnings.  Now I am a bit crazy with my phone, (right Central Maine Wireless?) I have a mobile facebook application, I have Uber Twitter for my phone, BUT I have an app from the Weather Channel where I can always check on radar and I can use the internet to see the mobile site for WABI TV5 to stay connected to anything that is happening or going to happen.  (Make sure to check with your cell phone provider for options and if there are any additional charges for text or data services.)

This is a simple way to make sure you know when it is time to take cover, check to see if where you are going is in the warning area.  Don’t be overwhelmed, just try one tool at a time until you find one that works to help you accomplish what you need to accomplish.  I started using weather alerts because I am on the road often and I would like to know (especially in winter) what the weather is where I am going, in Maine we often have several weather changes along the way and this can be problematic when it is snowing where you start, raining at the end and freezing rain in between!  Your reasons may be different, but still these things are helpful and real time savers.

*Photo credit clikr.com

Here Now! – Techno Trapped in my 40’s

Posted on by Kelly aka LadyOTrout

I am working on a new blog especially for people like me.

I am a “40 something.” I am too old to know how to understand text message talk, too young to retire. I think I am in a big group of folks that are trying to learn everything and just dont know where to start.

I just bought my first car with automatic windows and it practically talks. I try to embrace technology and explain it to people in a way that shows them why it is a good thing for them, but first I need to understand it and use it myself. Yes I have an iPod, yes I subscribe to podcasts, yes I know some things, but this trend of stepping away from the intimacy of person to person contact is a little disturbing, yet I know I need to learn to do it.