absent friends

What ARE you DOING?

Posted on by Kelly aka LadyOTrout

You know, Who You Are…or Who “They” Are.

Those people on Facebook, Twitter and the like that use these platforms FOR THEIR USE ONLY. Then see what everyone else is doing, maybe to use it as a tool to ambush someone or tell YOU about something THEY learned about a person on Facebook and make snide remarks about it.   I am at the point of doing a few things:

  • Ditching them as “Friends”
  • Unfollowing them on Twitter
  • Should I block them all together?
I have posted more than once the idea of the Social Media Stalker mentality, how we ALL know the selfish people in our lives behave the same way on Social Media as they do in real life.  It is not pretty sometimes.

THEY Want Something:

The best thing about Social Media is that it is much easier to see the pattern than it may be in real life.  There are time stamps and in most cases a “feed” so you can see the activity. (IRL=In Real Life)  You hang out with your friends, they hang out with others and it always comes out – most often not in the same group that brought up the topic in the first place.  You do not see it in real life  as easily or quickly.
In Social Media vs. face to face it is:  “Did you see what Miss Whozit said on Facebook?  It seemed ridiculous, I cannot believe it, what a loser.”
YUCK YUCK YUCK…

Knowledge is POWER

When you live in a small town, like I do,  rumors run around town fast and with Social Media it is even more LIGHT speed.  People that never had knowledge before, now have it, use it and ‘make hay’ with it.  People that are your “FRIENDS” on Facebook may not be your “FRIENDS” as we know true friends to be.  To me a true friend is someone that would come to your Mom’s funeral, shovel you out in a pinch, pick up your kids at daycare when you are not feeling well, call you to just say, “I Miss You.”  You see where I am going here, right?

This behavior comes down to a simple thing my mom always said (and still says today):

“If you aren’t going to say anything nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.”

MY 2013 version:

“If you are not going to get into the conversation, offer support by posting something on their wall or call the person because they are crying out for help in a different way then – SHAME ON YOU!“
Are we just “bullies” in an older form?  Sermon over.
*Disclaimer:  This post isn’t because this recently happened to “Yours Truly”, but I heard it about it.  It makes me go “Bo Bo, so beware.”

 

The “Charm” of the Virtual Office

Posted on by Kelly aka LadyOTrout

You are so Lucky!

Everyone says it.  They love working at home in their PJ’s.  And I won’t lie to you, I feel the same way…some days. But to be honest, being the social butterfly that I am and always have been, I find the virtual office a challenge, actually. Customer appointments help contact and I tend to bunch them up into a couple days so I am not spending a lot of time on the “back and forth.”  We have customers spread all over !  (Thank Goodness!)

I Miss Humans.

I miss the jokes at the office, the food that we share, the face to face contact of the office environment.  I genuinely ike my coworkers.  I care about their lives, their families, them. We still have weekly face to face staff meetings but it isn’t the same.

I don’t miss having to go out on a stormy day, moving my car for the snowplow, having to dash home to get dinner started.  Because ESPECIALLY with the last one, I can start it when I am taking a break from staring at my monitor or talking on the phone to a customer.

If you ever have worked virtually from the road (or from home), interruptions are usually minimal-unless they are YOUR interruptions. Or in my case it could be my dog Crosby or Sam just wanting to climb up into my lap as they follow the sun around the house.

I’m Fortunate

I have a completely separate room with my computer set up and the sun shines in and today while it is about 20 outside it is 78 degrees in my office.  I have Pandora cranking on my laptop, my iPad open, I have sent about 20 text messages, gone through emails, posted on some Social Media sites and it is 9:30am.  I could never get that much done in an office in that time period.

Pandora is great – but I do miss the radio, the chatter of the on air talent,  people talking, real ones. But there aren’t that many LIVE on air people anymore either.

I don’t own a radio that even comes in clearly (my car doesn’t count).  If it doesn’t stream on the internet, I don’t get it.  It can be very isolating some times.  To some people that are not in PR or Marketing, the more technical fields this could be the perfect environment.  With more and more people working from home these days are we becoming less social or do we need to channel that “social-ness” into another area?

I serve on some Boards and Committees.  Boards of non-profits in our area. I get some “people time.”  I need “people time.”  Volunteering makes me feel good.  In this life of it seeming to take forever to see results on some projects, volunteering is a “quick fix” to feeling like you are doing something that matters. In our region, there are many people that are willing to “roll up their sleeves” for the better good.  We don’t call it “giving back” or “paying it forward”  we just do it because it needs doing.  So that is my lift for the day or week.

What do you do to feed your soul?

 

I Learned Something Yesterday – My Own Christmas Carol

Posted on by Kelly aka LadyOTrout

Lately I have been feeling blue about the short days, the economy and I think I am watching too much NEWS! The stock market is down, unemployment and crime is up, the list goes on.

The holidays are to be such a joyful time, yet I always feel somewhat depressed about them. This year my brother and his family join us – the first time in 13 years and tho I am excited, I still am feeling the pressures around me. Recently, something changed my outlook… at least for a while.

I went to a funeral yesterday. 3 days before Christmas. It was for a woman, (58 years old). Her name is Deb and I knew her years ago. Her husband, brother-in-law and I trained dogs together. I went to the service specifically, because her sister is also a dear friend of mine. (Sounds all tangled up, one of those 6 degrees of separation things, I guess.)

For 29 years, this woman fought a battle with MS and even when she was admitted to a hospice facility, her body still wanted to fight the fight, but finally her tank was empty and she slipped away.

Now that part is the sad part, but here is the part where I learned something-perhaps “Ebeneezer” (and Deb) were watching over me!

The service was a Catholic Mass, to which I am unaccustomed and wasn’t actually clear on what was coming next. During the service, a good friend of Deb’s delivered thoughts and shared experiences from their long friendship. Of course it made us all cry, though none of us were there to share in those times, personally, I connected on my own.

I have a circle of friends and I could identify with her friends’ feelings. I could place myself within her warm words of memory with one or many of my close friends & family. I could feel how very special those times experiences in my life that I have shared with my friends and are so grateful to them for being part of my life. If any of them are reading this, know that you have made a difference to me and my life would not have been as full without you in it. Thank you to all my dear friends & family, those far and wide for making my life a special journey with laughs, hugs and moments to grin about even when things can seem like they aren’t going my way!

I know this the title of this blog is “Techno Trapped In my 40’s” and this REALLY isn’t advice about technology challenges, but in a way it is.

Don’t let the “Technology Scrooge” get in the way of what is valuable. TURN OFF THE NOISE IN YOUR LIFE and look around – get real (sorry Dr. Phil), stop and think what is meaningful for the long haul.

Christmas (or whatever you own brand of holiday celebration may be) needs to remind us about family, friends and the real things that are important. Cherish these times, cherish each other.

And make a toast “To Absent Friends.”
(Thanks Deb for the reminder.)